Behind Plastic Caryn Drexl lightleaks.etsy.comAutodidact photographer Caryn Drexl's photographs are exciting and disturbing. Looking through her online portfolio, I felt like I was viewing work from another era, (save for the very few art school type images - and yes, I know she's self-taught, but thought this an good example). I saw references to Julia Cameron, Sheila Metzner, Man Ray, Sally Mann, even Diane Arbus. Perhaps I'm projecting my limited photography knowledge here. See for yourself.
I love the titles of her photographs, especially, Oh, Slyvia (allusion to Slyvia Plath's final moments), Conjuring, Her Very Own Sea, and You Don't Sing to Me Anymore.
Aritst Bio #1:
Self taught photographer in Florida, taking [mostly] female based "conceptual" photography. You can view a larger portfolio of my work at www.caryndrexl.com
Artist Bio #2:
I'm Caryn, newly in my 30's, living in smallish Palm Coast, Florida. I love my dog. Sometimes I love my cat. I definitely love my girl of 11 years [who I should probably start calling my fiancé since we put rings on each others fingers.] I love my family, though I often don't like most of them, [exception being my sister Michelle, whom I adore!] and I lovelove the color green. The love list also includes old houses, old clothes, new england, lace, tv [oh yeah, I love me some tv] depressing music, long hair, books, eco friendly stuff, Joss Whedon, fresh baked bread, coke slurpees and chocolate chip cookies. I could go on for a while, but I figure cookies is a good place to stop. My ideal evening would involve being on the couch in my pajamas with Brianna and my sister, watching some ridiculous but funny movie and drinking coffee. Also, while my images [and my taste in music] might tend to create a specific image of the type of person I might be, I'm actually pretty bubbly and light-hearted. Goofy even. I'm always trying to make people laugh. So, yeah, don't judge a photographer by their images.
Now, the photography and images part. A popular question is if I went to school for photography, and the answer is no, I did not. I've never even taken a class. Everything I know I learned through trial and error or the internet. Equipment wise, I currently use a Canon T2i, and in the past I've used a Canon 400d, Canon 10d, Nikon d100, Nikon N80 and a few vintage film cameras. I have girly little hands and a dislike for big heavy cameras that'll break my wrist or my neck, so the littler rebels suit me well. And while I love the look of film images, I'm not the most technically sound photographer, and I'm definitely not patient, so digital it is. Lens wise I tend to stick to my 50mm, but I'm trying to break out of that habit and become knowledgeable on that whole bit. [Any help would be appreciated!]
In the past I've gone on about how I hate titling images, and how when I do title them it shouldn't mean much to the viewer, and that has changed, a little. First though, here is exactly what my old bio page used to say:
"I hate putting titles to my images, but when I do they usually mean little to nothing at all. My images are meant to be whatever you think they are, not what I tell you. Sort of like choose your own adventure books, only it's choose your own back-story instead. And so I prefer to present them to you at face value and nothing more, that way you can react in whatever way you will, without my influencing you with an explanation of why [or how] I've done what I did and what it all "means"."
Generally speaking I still have that attitude. I, for the most part, don't want people to worry about what I mean, but to pay the most attention to what the image says to them. At the same time though there are times where there is something I'm trying to convey, or something specific I had in mind, so I kinda, sorta, try to hint at that through the title in hopes that it won't be overlooked completely. But that's not always the case, so it makes this whole thing sort of difficult. =) I come up with every idea differently, I approach every image differently, so my hopes and expectations are always different. So I guess now I'm a little more careful, when it comes to titles, to cover all these points. I want the title to hint at something, if there is something to be hinted at, but to also remain vague, in case there isn't something I need to hint at, or just so that my "message" doesn't smack someone in the face. There are now even family pow-wows when I've taken an image and don't know what to name it. Thesaurus.com is also my good friend, because often the titles the girls come up with suck!
And that's entirely too much talk about titles. But I guess some insight on my "process" and how varied and murky it is. The second most popular question I get is where I get my ideas from the answer is [I assume] always unsatisfying and unhelpful. "Everywhere. Everything." Sometimes I sit down and look at old paintings online for a few hours. Old photos from the 20's through to the 50's. Those often give me light ideas. Sometimes I'm in the hardware store and something weird jumps out at me and I think "that would look awesome on someone's head!" Or I'll be window shopping online and I'll notice a pretty dress and get a flash in my head of it moving a certain way and something grows from that. Often it's just random. One second I'm chasing the dog around the couch and the next second there is an idea in my head that seems to have come from nowhere. And every once in a while I'm on flickr or tumblr or deviantart, looking at other people's work, and I'll see something I'm kinda grumpy I didn't think of first, and from there, instead of abandoning the idea of ever doing it myself because "it's already been done", I figure out how to make the idea mine. Of course I don't mean stealing, because I would never, intentionally, repeat someone else's idea down to every last detail. I just figure out what I like about it, and how I can incorporate that into something that's more my *mine*.
Anyways! A little more history on me as a photographer: I fell in love with photography as a fluke when I was 10. I went on vacation with my family and came back having taken the only properly exposed images out of everyone. I have photographers in the family, and people were impressed, so I got all chuffed and went on to take a bunch of crap snapshots that even I couldn't bother to care about. I stopped for a really long time, until I was a teenager, all the while still claiming I'd be a photographer when I grew up. [Though back then, I was first thinking I'd be a concert photographer, and then strictly fashion, which I've always had a thing for.] And then when I started again, because of the things going on in my life at the time, it was more of an outlet than anything, a way to deal with things. To vent. It wasn't photography in a traditional sense. First I would turn my scanner on it's side and take self portraits that way. Then we got a free webcam from our internet provider and I used that to capture stills. All these images would immediately be put online, included in the online journal I kept. The positive response I got spurred me on, and things just grew from there. Eventually, when I was 20, we spent 100$ for a less than 1mp camera, which quickly broke and led to lots of out of focus images, or insane closeups because it would only focus within a few inches of the lens. Around 21 I got my first film camera, and though it was fully automatic, and I loved it, it was still frustrating because I had grown too accustomed to instant gratification. At 22 I started stealing my "mother in laws" 2mp digital fuji and that when I really started to set up little shoots and "create", so to speak. It was still mostly self portraits, though friends and family would participate too. At 23 a nikon d100 was bought for me and that's when it all really started. From then on it was less "just for fun", or to use instead of a therapist, or to cure boredom, and more my seriously trying to be a photographer. And I do still take self portraits, for a few reasons. For one, it's still convenient. I'm typically the only one available at 3am when things are quiet and I'm alone with my head, and certain pesky ideas are getting louder. Other times my ideas seem a little too cruel to do to other people. And others it's just about control. I know how to give myself what I'm looking for. And one day, when I'm older, I hope I can have a show that includes a self portrait from every year, age 15 on.
Lastly, because of most of what I've said already, I consider myself an artist the internet made. It molded me and propelled me farther than I would have gone without the resources and support system it gave me. I am still not the best technical photographer, the way I started out kind of ruined me a little in that way, but at the same time I feel it allowed me to go where I wanted with my ideas without any fear. I try my damndest to hold onto that, regardless of what progression I've made. Maybe one day I'll be able to say I'm a "pro", whatever that means, but until then I'm fine considering myself an amateur, while maybe, sometimes admitting there are things I could teach others as well. Maybe
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